thats me, im falling slowly. where have i fallen from? i'm not sure. where am i falling to? i dont know that either. its like i've fallen through a trap door in the floor and ive been falling ever since. thats how life feels to me right now. i dont know where i came from, because i didnt know who i was then. i don't know where i'm falling too, because i dont know who i will be. and i don't know how far down in the abyss i've fallen, because i have no idea who i am now.
people keep telling me i need to find things i like to do. i need a hobby. extra curriculars. but, you see, thats quite hard to do when you don't know what you like. i'm just trapped in this free fall. i dont know where i'm falling and when i will finally reach the end. and that scares me.
i'm ready to hit the bottom. im ready to skip this worthless time in my life. i wish i could wake up tomorrow and be 21. i'm just tired of falling.
Friday, November 5, 2010
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
"i'm a flight risk with a fear of falling"
it has come to my attention (after trying to find a friend's blog and happening to stumble upon my own) that i have basically forgotten about my blog. which is crazy considering the few big things that have happened. yes, i got my permit :) but that's not what i'm talking about. i moved schools. i am now going to a school with about 2700 kids as opposed to the 200 and my dinky charter school. i went from a school were i knew practically everyone's name to knowing only three people (and the one i was closest to i had only met about a week earlier at orientation).
but, surprisingly, things have gone so well. i have lots of friends, i am maintaining a 3.8 average (which is not easy after coming from LFPA i must say), and i am doing my best to get involved in school.
my first week and a half of school was rocky (i was sick to my stomach almost every day). now i go to school with a smile on my face, ipod in hand, and my phone in my back pocket (2 things that would have been taken away at my last school). plus the phone is good for those occasional texts to my mom or best friend for a courage boost, because, i must admit, i still get overwhelmed. when you go to an assembly where about half of the kids have to sit on the floor because there's too many kids, it gets a little scary. oh, and note to self ALWAYS sit in the right section at assemblies, sitting in the wrong section is extremely embarrassing.
everyday it gets a little easier and i get a little more scared about graduating and entering the 'real world', but that we can save for a whole other blog :).
i'm aware this was a little choppy and a little random. but cut me a little slack, i haven't been on in awhile. which, hopefully will change.
oh p.s. i have decided that, because i can never come up with a title for my blogs, i will type in the lyrics to whatever song i am listening to.
but, surprisingly, things have gone so well. i have lots of friends, i am maintaining a 3.8 average (which is not easy after coming from LFPA i must say), and i am doing my best to get involved in school.
my first week and a half of school was rocky (i was sick to my stomach almost every day). now i go to school with a smile on my face, ipod in hand, and my phone in my back pocket (2 things that would have been taken away at my last school). plus the phone is good for those occasional texts to my mom or best friend for a courage boost, because, i must admit, i still get overwhelmed. when you go to an assembly where about half of the kids have to sit on the floor because there's too many kids, it gets a little scary. oh, and note to self ALWAYS sit in the right section at assemblies, sitting in the wrong section is extremely embarrassing.
everyday it gets a little easier and i get a little more scared about graduating and entering the 'real world', but that we can save for a whole other blog :).
i'm aware this was a little choppy and a little random. but cut me a little slack, i haven't been on in awhile. which, hopefully will change.
oh p.s. i have decided that, because i can never come up with a title for my blogs, i will type in the lyrics to whatever song i am listening to.
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