day 5

a time when you thought about ending your own life
okay, as you would assume this one is going to be hard for me, as it probably was for everyone else who did this. but im going to be completely honest, because i think thats only fair. i have thought about killing myself many times. not recently, but over the last 3 years there have been many times when i thought of it as an easy out. i cannot pin point exactly what i was thinking at those times, but i know that i was hurting for some reason or another. i used to cut myself (of course, once a cutter always a cutter). i dont do that anymore and i havent since ninth grade (i think). but all of the times i did that i was thinking about how easy it would be. i thought about my funeral and how my bestfriend would take it.
this isnt really relevant, but she is the reason i quit. she showed me how many people really do love me and how much she loves me. and how much people would hurt if i were gone. we found ways together to get out our anger and hurt from the world. and i have her to thank for...well...everything.