no. no. this can't happen. not to her. not to him. its not fair. how could you let this happen? they didn't do anything! they did nothing wrong. yes, i'm mad at you. yes i'm upset with you. God. where are you? in this terrible situation. i'm waiting for it to get better. but as time goes on its only making me more angry. at you. at him. at her. at myself. so God, why? why them? why not me? i've done the same things. hell i've done worse in some situations. so why did it have to be her? why did it have to be him? a man after Your own heart. bullshit. that obviously means nothing anymore. i can't help but be mad at you for letting this happen, for not stopping it, for not making it better, for not fixing it. which means i can't help but be mad at myself for not understanding, for being angry. i'm mad at the church for not realizing it sooner. i'm mad at churches in general for alot of things. i'm sorry for being angry, for being confused, and for not understanding. its just hard to understand why a God who is suppose to love you so much would let this kind of shit happen.
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